Friday, June 20, 2008

Don't sweat the small stuff

Or I don't give a crap where everyone sits.

There is an assumption that once a person becomes a bride they are instantly immensely concerned with every little detail and making sure everything is perfect, perfect, PERFECT! Even when we met with the minister last night she asked how we pictured a "perfect wedding." My response, "We plan on something going wrong and by the end of the day as long as we're married and no one is in jail it's a success."

Trying to be perfect is just going to cause lots of headaches and ulcers so I've given up control of aspects that really don't matter for us. One of the going against the grain ideas is that I have the full confidence that my guests can in fact find a seat all by themselves and there will be very few fights over it.

We aren't going to have any ushers really. For when we do require one (mothers or someone who has troubles) we have the groomsmen. It'll keep them occupied so they aren't going on a beer run right before. There might even be some encouragement for people to sit on whichever side they want. I fear at this point if we went the traditional bride and groom side the church we'd have a protestant vs. catholic game (no rubber bands).

And then when it comes time to the reception I haven't thought long and hard about how to make some adorable place card, a fancy table number thing, and then make a fancy list by the door so everyone knows where they sit. Which also means I don't have to look forward to hours spent scrutinizing over the seating chart and deciding if Aunt Bertha can be trusted next to his Uncle Herman.

To me, they can make conversation with the people they sit next to or not. They can sit in the back or up by the front depending on their preference. And that way we're less likely to snub someone by putting such and such closer to the couple than others (I've seen that happen a few times in my family).

Plus now we have the freedom to on the day of decide if we want a table here or there, it doesn't have to follow any set map or plan, we can just wing it (And at this point we've got more of a horseshoe/last supper table look going on so there are no bad seats). Even though it may wind up giving all those etiquette bees a heart attack this is just one less thing we're going to work and sweat over.

4 comments:

Kara said...

We're not having a seating anything. Anyone can sit where they want, or not sit...we don't care. We are having a kids table, though.

Ellen Mint said...

Yeah we're totally doing a kids table too. I put my fiance in charge of finding lots of fun stuff for them to do.

I've been lurking on your blog, good luck with finding your apartment ;)

Kara said...

Thanks! I've been lurking here too...Most of my wedding party is kids, so a kid's table was a no brainer. It is definitely easier to find fun things for girls to do. Boys are difficult.

Thanks!!

Cate Subrosa said...

Good for you if that's what you want to do. I'm all for people deciding not to do things "just 'cos that's what you do."

Personally I'll be carefully planning a seating plan, because we only have about 25 guests and 8 of those are our two sets of remarried parents who would be *really* uncomfortable not to be assured they won't end up sitting together.

But I'm all for picking the things that work for you and dumping the rest :)