Tuesday, September 30, 2008

De-stress Tuesday

As October comes a knockin' on the door (better than it banging on the pipe as that's sure to cause structural damage and then a gas leak) the stress levels around the wedding blog o sphere seem to be hitting critical mass.

I'm sure anyone about to get married in a week or two is running around like some kind of domesticated animal missing its cranium so rather than talk about weddings or anything related to weddings today I was thinking we'd all need a good laugh.

So first up: Monty Python and the Cheese Shop sketch (I have a slight crush on Michael Palin)

Much like Cake Wrecks, Photoshop disasters presents an entertaining world where models have no legs, extra hands , or are secretly Elastigirl.

For any Dr. Horrible fans out there, you can now get the soundtrack on iTunes. I've been listening to it constantly.

And if you've actually got too much stress and lots of time on your hands, this little game will keep you busy for hours (extra points if you do the new one).

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Trick or Treat

This weekend I really tortured my poor thumb.

After taking into consideration all of your suggestions for what to do for table centerpieces I sort of cobbled it together. We're gonna have everyone sitting on just one side of the tables so we're gonna put a basket on every table (or every other table) then we got some of the little pumpkins (my parents went to pick them last night) to put on either side of the baskets along with a little sign.

The first task to piss my thumb off and to accomplish what we want were to make some simple signs to encourage people to take the candy home with them (we already have little bags to put at each place).

It was relatively easy coming up with what to say, the time consuming task was picking just the right font. Then I played with some colors and came up with this:

Cutting out 24 pieces of cardboard is a little work but I could always give my thumb a chance to rest, right? Wrong.

The other thought I had for the baskets was to make them look a bit less fallish and a bit more spooky. So while wandering around a party store (and getting a lot of fake teeth for any guests that want to be vampires) I got two large black table clothes.

I cut the table cloths into 12 sections (which was a challenge as the table clothes were 108 feet long) and stuffed them into the baskets. But I felt I really needed to amp the scary factor so I decided to give it the "witch" look and took to jaggeding up the edges.

In the picture you can also see just a hint of my huge mess, and my guys socked feet as he kills half orcs (or was it ghosts with a silver butter knife?). Here's one complete with some candy.

I think it turned out pretty well in the end (and I swear they don't look as much like a garbage bag in real life, it's just thanks to the flash) and they'd make some really cute treat baskets in the future to hand out candy for Trick-Or-Treaters.

Thanks to everyone who gave me all the ideas so I could cobble this all together; however, my thumb with its scissor blister curses you daily.

When meat attacks!

Right around Labor Day I get really excited seeing all the Halloween stuff coming out even the advertisements. You know, the local costume shop puts up a big picture of Dracula, a decor store has a Grim Reaper, and Target has a piece of meatloaf with a mouth.

Wait? A meatloaf with a mouth?
Meet Domo, the break dancing meatloaf (does not really break dance)

So thanks to my guys nerdy research it turns out this piece of animal flesh mixed with some breadcrumbs and baked in loaf form is actually a Japanese TV "star" called Domo.

But, um, what the hell does it have to do with Halloween?

It's sad, just walking into a store you find a huge picture of the loaf asking you to trust his decisions when it comes to party planning. Apparently pieces of meat really know how to decorate and are experts at picking paper plates with skeleton pictures on them.

If you don't believe me just check out Target's website.

Why Target? What made you think that your little mascot is more terrifying than a witch that could put the evil eye on you, a vampire that can seduce you into giving him all your life fluid, or Frankenstein's monster that toys with the idea of life and death as well as how far science can go in playing God (in reality not very).

Instead you have a little piece of meat that as soon as you pull it out of the oven it'll jump across your plate and using it's sharp teeth wax and wane about the best curtains for your space and how to expand the space with mirrors.

Actually, that is the scariest thing since wolfman teamed up with the mummy and formed a biker gang.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Catch me if you can

I got tagged. No tag backs!

Okay so this one was from The Pissed off Bride.

4 things I did today:

  1. Got a computer in my office. Hello from my office. Started re-reading Dracula. Well it is almost October.
  2. Went to a very boring meeting about mycobacterium and grant politics. I'd rather spend a week with the bacteria.
  3. Listened to Dr. Horribles sing-a-long blog. You can buy the soundtrack!
  4. Started re-reading Dracula. Well it is almost October.

4 things on my to do list:

  1. Get in my seaweed.
  2. When I get the seaweed make a solution for an ELISA. Seaweed is very important today.
  3. Make breakfast for dinner. It's breakfast but during dinner!
  4. Finish off the Villain section of Lego Batman in story mode (I'm tired of having to be the Riddler).

4 of my guiltiest pleasures:

  1. Browsing etsy's halloween stuff. There's just too much and it's fun to see what people make.
  2. Eating frosting. Especially cream cheese frosting, super yummy.
  3. Smelling candles. Specifically Yankee's. I love running around and seeing if it really smells like what they claim it is.
  4. Please see number 4 on my to do list.

4 random facts about me:

  1. I've been fishing since before I can remember and I caught the largest lake trout of my entire family when I was 9 and it was the last day we were in Canada.
  2. I worked in a vet clinic for 2 years as well as a dorm bathroom janitor. Nothing grosses me out.
  3. If you need a band geek I can totally fill your quota. I played clarinet in marching as well as concert and the tenor sax in jazz.
  4. I am a word nerd. When I was in kindergarten they had a key chain for us where the teacher would write a word down and then you drew the picture. It was up to each person how many they wanted. I had over a 100 more than the next kid with the most.

I've decided to tag in no specific order:

Holy #$!%, We're Engaged!

The Adventures of a Bridezilla

The Broke-Ass Bride

Love Life and Maple Leaves

's all right in the box?

Yesterday I was calmly talking to my MOH about a few simple things. We talked about her trying on her wedding dress again, about how she's getting along with making a cookie monster costume for her son, and if she's done anything to the wig we found (got to add some cool racing stripes).

All fairly regular conversation if you ignore the fact that it's all related to my wedding. Having a Halloween reception means there are a few things we have to think of normal wedding planners don't. Like say our costume box.

Since we're sure that not everyone will remember to bring a costume or want to cart one around we were thinking about making a costume prop box. We have some things but I am not all that sure what other simple (ie cheap) pieces we should get so that people can make their own costumes.

Here's what we do have:
  • One witches hat
  • One bums hat
  • 5 different colored lone ranger type masks
  • One set of angel wings
  • A set of glow in the dark skeleton gloves
  • A kids sized dinosaur costume
  • A large blue robe (made from a graduation robe)
  • Some white and black makeup

And that's about it. So what, if you were gonna have to make a costume up quick, would you want to find in there?

Thursday, September 25, 2008

For the parents

I've been such a debbie downer lately I thought I should talk about something just about everyone gets excited about, gifts.

More specifically parents gifts (okay so no one gets really excited about having to choose those).

We've all got really hard parents to buy for, so I used my powers of turning hobbies and interests into keywords and then let etsy.com do all the work.

My mother was the only one I didn't get anything from etsy from and alas hers is already wrapped so no pictures. But just think of a simple gold locket with some flowers on the front. That's the gist of it.

For my Mother in Law, I at first wanted to get her a locket too thinking it was a pretty simple and safe jewelry hunt. Well in doing that I came across this charm bracelet from Mermaid Treasures.

Not only is she really big into the Renaissance, red is also her favorite color. So after my fiance thought and thought (he's a bit of a double or triple over thinker) he decided that yes she would wear it and we snapped it up.

I already talked about my Dad's and his really cool lab watercolor but I love seeing puppies so here it is again.

The last one, my father in law, we just got done this weekend. He's kinda like my Dad (and most guys) doesn't really have anything he wants (or if he does buys it himself) doesn't have anything he collects or any hobbies.

Well except for one. He's really big into collecting license plates. They have a huge wall of them downstairs. So I in a random mood typed in Michigan State (his alma matter) and while I didn't find anything green and white I cared for I did come across this (well not exactly this, I don't have a picture of the Michigan one).

It's a license plate that's turned into a simple photo album from Tagliatela. It's weird seeing a testosterone filled photo albume. So he can keep some simple wedding photos in a bicentennical Michigan plate.

I know these gifts won't help anyone else as they are just too specific and geared towards one audience (I don't really get the license plate thing myself) but I hope I have at least encouraged some of you to look past the whole personalized frame from a wedding store or just using etsy for jewelry.

It's bloody amazing the stuff they have there.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

A rant, or why I should avoid messageboards

What the fuck is wrong with Brides nowadays? (Big B means general not specific)

When did it become normal for a woman to upon getting that ring on her finger lose any empathy?

Why is it okay for her to step on everyone's toes and demand that they all bow to her wishes and if anyone dares go against her are to be shunned?

I can think of no other time when a woman can demand that her friends buy a certain dress regardless of what they look like in it or how they feel about it, as well as how they accessorize and how they get their hair done (never mind all the pre-wedding parties they must attend or they are kicked out).

God help them if they do complain about something or they're just cut from the wedding party and never talked to again.

Why is it a sin to ask a Bride to just step back and think about how her friend feels? She's feeling self conscious about the dress, the shoes don't fit right, or the hairstyle isn't her. How would you feel if on your wedding you were ordered by someone to wear a certain dress, get your hair done a certain way, and wear awful shoes just because someone planned the wedding that way?

It makes weddings seem more and more like a play to me. The Bride is the director and she gets a say in who the actors are, what everyone wears, how they act, when the scene changes happen and when everyone takes a bow. I mean if an actor throws up a fuss about say being pregnant then you just fire her and hire a new one, right?

Well a wedding isn't a play or pretend (at least I'd hope that it isn't to someone about to get married), it's real life. It's a commitment and it isn't going to go perfect.

So many sites and blogs talk about having the perfect vision and how to hammer down a nail that sticks out in the planning process. Instead of that why not try to sympathize with the nail and make them feel better. Or better yet hear them out, think about their suggestions and see how that would fit with the big plan.

For God sakes, at least prove to society that Brides do still have some form of empathy left.

The wedding night

It seems pretty typical for those who are planning a wedding to put a lot of thought into their wedding night, and while I have looked into the more typical stuff (it really isn't fair, there needs to be more lingerie options for guys damn it!) there is one thing we've both agreed just isn't worth it.

We're spending our wedding night in our bed in our apartment (as opposed to our bed out on the lawn).

I could say that it's just to save money for our rockin' honeymoon in exotic Minnesota but that isn't really why. It's the same reason we're both spending the night before the wedding (let's just call it wedding eve) together in our bed. There's no way we'd get any sleep in a new place.

I am terrible whenever I go anywhere new. I just can't sleep the first night (after that I'm fine), I spend most of the night up tossing and turning. Well my guy is generally the same way. And ever since we finished the long distance thing we've only spent one night apart and we were both up til 3 in the morning (yes I am pathetically sad and can't sleep without him).

Besides we're already planning on spending most of the day together so does it really matter if we spend the night sleeping next to each other? I'd much rather wake up the day of our wedding next to my fiance than in some strange room I barely slept in.

How about the rest of you? Is anyone else forgoing the bridal suite in favor of sleeping in their own bed (or at least has my same problem)?

P.S. Lego Batman Rules! It's huge! A lot more like Lego Star Wars. We played for about 3-4 hours last night and just got through one and a half levels on hero. There's still all the ones for Villain and all the free plays.

But I am tired of always having to use the magnetic suit. Stupid robin.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

It's Lego Batman day!

This week I had to go out and get myself a little pyrex bowl for work (really, I swear. It's a lab thing). And I was thinking, hm, I could do it on Tuesday so I could pick up Lego Batman at the same time.

I thought I was being all smarty pants, and I headed out at 2 to get to Target at a dull shopping time. Well as I was a few steps out the door I hear a huge boom and just as I look up the heavens open up to dump about 50 gallons of water on me as I make a quick 10 minute walk/run to the car (this is what I get for working at a university).

Walking into Target I look like something the cat drug in, out of the sewer, that no one is willing to touch for a few days. Rather than spend the rest of the day soaked to the bone, I look through their shirt options and get a simple t-shirt to replace my drowned one (I wish I had a camera on me now to show you the picture of my other shirt sitting on the lab bench drying).

But I was finally able to get it into my own little hands. Lego Batman.

My fiance is gonna be so happy I can get him to do whatever I want for at least a week. Maybe it's a good time to start deep cleaning the oven and bathroom.

A plea for help

We've been really good about getting a lot of our craft projects done early (sometimes insanely super early). But there is one thing that we cannot do early at all, the centerpieces.

The plan all along has been to use pumpkins and then put candy somewhere. Well at some point my mother decided that she just had to get us some cute fall baskets that we can put on the tables.

So now we have pumpkins and baskets, okay but what about candy? Lots of people love Halloween just for the candy. Thanks to that idea we have about 10 lbs of candy sitting in our box of wedding shit.

Oh but you have to have mood lighting too so my mother went and got some votive candles.

So now we have pumpkins (which we get free and won't see til the day of), fall baskets, tons of candy, and some candles. I have no idea how to combine these things together at all.

So I beseech you wedding crafting brides, what would you do with this pile to make something cool or at least passable as a centerpiece?

Monday, September 22, 2008

Call me Mrs. Butterworth!

I am an idiot. Now now, don't try to argue.

Only an idiot would start a new job 2 months before getting married and get all the paperwork done only to have to turn around and do it all again (I even got a purchasing card so I'll have a credit card for a whole 2 months).

Yeah, I'm changing my last name and really coming to regret it.

It's not that I'm really tied to my own last name or taking his is much of an improvement (one weird ethnic name for another) it just doesn't seem all that fair that when a woman gets married she has to wade through this much red tape and stand in 500 lines.

This weekend I decided I should finally start looking into what all I have to do. You'd think that what with women doing this, well, since the surname came into fashion it'd be a bit easier.

If you can get past all the confusing ads New Last Name.org is pretty good. You can go by your state and print off everything you need to change your soc. as well as your DMV stuff.

I started with the federal government form and was promptly confused why it needed my parents names as well as their numbers. You'd think someone would have gotten smart and made a single form for those looking to just change their name. No I don't need a new number, no I didn't lose my card. Just have to go from one name to another, thanks. Got any of those free tootsie rolls?

After that I moved to the state level and promptly wanted to run away. Okay, so I have to get a different license (that was a given) and calmly printed out that form. Then it went on to tell me that I had to get the title changed at the DMV and it would only cost me a whole $20 (for a simple delete and re-type on a computer) oh but then you have to buy different registration too.

All I can think is thank God I don't own a house or have anything else huge that I'd have to talk to 30 people to just have one little thing changed.

It just isn't fair that guys get out of it. I think they should all at least have to change their middle names, or maybe tack a Jr. on. Just something so they're in this line standing form filling hell too.
I do have one question that I thought of. For those of you have gone before and done all this, if you had any savings bonds did you have to get the names changed on those as well or was your bank a bit smart about it?

Friday, September 19, 2008

Oh no, I missed it!

Okay so in between my blood boilings and me looking forward to lots of cool halloween shipments (this thing rules!) I missed my weird month anniversary.

Yesterday not only was it a month til we walk down that long winding road to um find the wizard and the Beatles (I'm not very good at the poetry) I've also been at my job for a whole month.

It's kinda weird really, somehow the 18th has come to be very significant to me. Or it's just creepy coincidences.

So to celebrate here are some pictures of one month old labs (this is quickly becoming the wedding blog with the most cute puppy pictures).

And also a trick I learned to clean up your ring.

If you really want your gemstone ring (doesn't have to be a diamond) to shine just put it into a shallow dish containing some rubbing alcohol (I use the little plastic cup from Pepto Bismol) leave it for 3 minutes.

Then take an old toothbrush and scrub under the prongs to get the gunk out.

Put it back into the alcohol for another three minutes. Take out and rub the excess off on a kleenex.

Ta da perfectly sparkly and ready for its close up.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Looking forward

While most people would probably assume a person a month away from their wedding would only be focused on that (to the point of scaring small mammals) but my fiance and I don't quite have that tunnel vision.

Instead we have a whole bunch of things coming out over the next few months we're really excited about (some of which we've been waiting years for).

So without further ado, here is a list of all the cool things that are coming. If there's anything you're looking forward to that isn't wedding related please share. I feel like I'm forgetting something myself.

Lego Batman:
September 23rd

Come on, it's a lego game with Batman! We've actually been going through replaying the Star Wars Lego games in anticipation. My guy is practically salivating at the thought of getting to play as Batman and beat the snot out of Clayface.

IronMan on DVD
September 30th

We are a Marvel family (the only DC allowed is Batman, I loathe Supes) but neither of us were at first sure about IronMan. After all his general character is a rich alcoholic bastard, but after watching some trailers I got that tingle I get that was telling me this is gonna be a good movie (I am very very good at picking which movies we'll like and which we won't) so we got to the theatre and were blown away like most people by Downeys performance.

Terry Pratchett's latest book
September 30th

Terry Pratchett, the author of more Discworld books than I can count, has turned to writing some children books lately and they are very different from most typical young adult books. They don't talk down to the audience, and they don't shield the reader from the hardships of life (I really recommend the Tiffany Aching set if you know anyone who likes fantasy stuff and is anywhere from 8 and up). This one is not taking place at Discworld but I still have faith in it being an interesting read.

Rock Band 2:
October 19th on PS3

Does Rock Band really need any explanations? We both love their song lists way more than the latest Guitar Hero.

Now they just need to add a keyboard option.

MST3K: 20th anniversary edition
October 28th

Okay so my honeymoon is a bit of a hint that I am a huge MSTie, but alas I didn't get into it til it moved to Sci-Fi so I missed out on a whole lot of the history (which I've been slowly catching up on thanks to Rhino).

Well now they are putting out a 20th anniversary set that has 4 movies and for the first time with these sets a whole host of extras.

I've seen Werewolf and FutureWar (I only have FutureWar on tape) and those are split your sides hilarious (what I would not have given to have Jack Frost on it). But what I am most excited about is the possibility of finally getting to see LaserBlast. It's like a right of passage for a MSTie right up there with enduring Manos, or getting into a Joel vs Mike debate.

Futurama: Benders Game
November 4th

Please Dear God, let all of the Futurama movies sell well. We'd give anything to have it back on TV.

This one looks like a whole lot of fun, spoofing fantasy genres in general. There's even talk about the web that Gary Gygax (on of the creators of D&D)has a small cameo before he passed on.

Quantum of Solace
14th November 2008

I'm not usually a big celebrity chaser or crusher on (sounds like they're alumminum cans)but there is just something about Daniel Craig that pushes all my buttons (especially in Layer Cake, though I think Colm Meany is the best). My guy generally just puts up with it and can pick on me for it (it's okay I can get back at him for having a thing for Jean Grey).

But it is nice having a Bond that can actually take a few punches (and really looks like he already has) and have a much more realistic story (no more invisible cars please).

Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2: Fusion
God Only knows

Did I mention that we're big Marvel fans? Well I think we've played the Ultimate Alliance game about 30 times through. It's amazing just how huge that game is and how many options there are. We look forward to the second one.

Now give us a release date damn it!

What the hell?

If you are in anyway addicted (or know about) facebook, they have a nice little application that will put on your page (well til they changed facebook around) when your wedding is coming and some other random stuff.

What makes it really nice is the addition of a message board. I've pretty much been on it since day one (and the women on there are a whole lot nicer than The Knot). I've had an ongoing thread about Halloween Weddings and how cool they are.

Generally everyone seems really into the idea and some have great ideas (as well as some are as insane as me about stalking stores for Halloween goodies), but someone recently published a comment that got my blood boiling a bit:

"I think the halloween wedding sounds fun, but are you sure you want a dinosaur tale and your other bridesmaids in wedding dresses too? I love Halloween too and the cake and decorations sound great. Just make sure you don't regret being a dinosaur instead of you at your most beautiful on your wedding day Good luck! "

When the hell did a wedding become Bride centric? Honestly, it scares the crap out of me that the Bride is held to such standards that she's less a woman about to become married to a man and more a marble statue. She's something to be admired from afar and held to insane standards while at the same time not really viewed as human (I'm reminded of the end scene from Elizabeth as she paints herself white and mimics the Virgin Mary).

It makes sense then why shows like Bridezillas are so popular and people like to trade stories of Brides that don't live up to the ideal. Brides aren't supposed to do that (just as people in the public eye who are considered role models aren't supposed to get DWIs or have affairs), they're supposed to be perfect jewels and no longer have any of the human foibles.

And because of this thought anyone who dares go against the norm is questioned and criticized and constantly examined as though they have gone mad. I couldn't imagine just how sad a person would be to really think that they must look more beautiful than their best friends and relatives.

But you see it all the time, women who are worried that a bridesmaid is going to be wearing heels so she'll be taller. Or that the bridesmaid is going to dye her hair a different color, or wear a bust enhancing bra or any other myriad of problems that she wouldn't give a crap about any other day of her life. Or saddest of all that one of their maids is much more beautiful or skinnier (not the same thing) than her so the bride has to find a way to look better.

Well I refuse to be a holy relic. I am not made of marble, I am flesh and blood (and a few traces of Dr. Pepper). My best friends are not there to just make me look better, nor should they have to spend a day miserable as hell. I'd rather they get a chance to enjoy the day as much as possible and look just as gorgeous.

So my Matron of Honor is going to wear her wedding dress again and she'll look beautiful.

My tall Flower girl is going to get herself a Marylin Monroe white dress and she'll look beautiful.

And, yes, even wearing my large chunky Bridezilla tail I will also be beautiful.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Paying it Forward

She Weds has posted a challenge about Paying it Forward which she got from Blue Eyed Bride.

This is the basic gist (which I borrowed from She Weds as she put it so succinctly): "The exchange focuses on doing an act of kindness without expecting anything in return other than that the recipient will, in their turn, pass the kindness along and pay it forward.

This is how it works... I am going to agree to send something fun, cute, & nice to the first 3 bloggers who post a comment on this entry. In turn, those three will post this information and pick 3 people they want to send something to and so on.

Unfortunately, due to postage costs, I can only pay it forward within the United States. If you are interested in participating, be one of the first 3 bloggers to leave a comment!

The little something you send can be something you made, bought, were given or found. Just a gift that will make the person smile. So if you're interested, be one of the first three to leave a comment.

You have to agree to pay it forward on your blog by posting this, linking to me, and paying it forward to three more people."

I have to think on mine, but I am in such a fally halloween mode it'll probably be related to that.

So if you really want a little something in your mail box just leave a little comment (and probably your e-mail addy or a link to your blog so I can send you mine to get your address).

Wedding apathy

"Are you ready for a month from now?"

I was asked that recently and I honestly had to pause and think really hard, what the hell is a month from now?

Are we gonna start the cell culture in lab that early? Is there some special meeting? Am I being sent overseas to commune with seals?

Oh right, the wedding. Yeah, um it's okay. Kinda ready I guess.

How the hell do you respond to those questions from people who are probably just trying to make conversation but you really have no fun wedding stories? I really don't have to rush around and get anything done, no major catastrophes (yet, someone find me some wood to knock on), and no cold feet (and even if I do have cold feet I have some perfect toe socks with glow in the dark skeleton bones on them).

In fact the few things we have to do are so boring even I don't like having to think about them (like getting hair cuts or giving the reception site our head count or forking over money to everyone). I'm falling asleep now just thinking about it.

So what do you tell people who seem to want to know your plans but you have nothing to tell them? And is anyone else going through major apathy as the wedding gets closer and closer?

I'm starting to suspect I may not really give a shit about the wedding til the day of now.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Getting into Bridezilla mode

Okay, so what's my motivation?

"It's your wedding day. You've just found out that your caterer has locked himself in the bathroom and refuses to come out, the minister is stranded at the airport (no one knows what he was doing at the airport), your mother is demanding that you change everything about the wedding right this second, all of your groomsmen are on a beer run two counties over, your wedding cake looks like a small dog was sitting on it, the photographer has taken a vow of silence and denounced the art of photography as Satanical, and your fiance's tux doesn't fit so everyone is thinking about heading to Steve & Barrys to get those tux t-shirts.

And go."

* For those who don't read all my previous entries, this was all a joke as I get into the mode for my costume for the reception.

Monday, September 15, 2008

The Ugliest Unity Candle In Existence

Does anyone know how to get in touch with the Guiness record people cause I really think I've got the most garish and over the top unity candle (some may even go so far as to call it eye searing pain with accents of horror)?

My mother in her endless quest to make me pull my hair out decided to make the unity candle herself. And by make I mean get a perfectly acceptable white candle and then glued so much shit to it it looks like a holy relic from the gilded age.

We were hoping for something along the lines of this one, just with blue and green ribbon and didn't even really need our monogram on it. In other words simple.

Well my mother cannot for her life do simple, so instead she came up with this, this... Words cannot really describe it so without further ado: The Ugliest Unity Candle in Existence

At first we were thinking we'll just get our hands on it, wait a while for my mother to forget what it looks like and then peel all that stuff off and add some ribbon.

But now the more I look at it the more it feels to me like something from a Catholic church. Something up at the altar with the Eucharist and some saints bone. So for a nod to all the Catholics in the church I'm thinking we may keep it this way (it will just very quickly get "lost" after the wedding).

Also if we did try peeling all the stuff that was hot glued on we're not gonna have a candle left.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Bits and Bobbles

I am happy to say that my tall flower girl has decided to stick with her original dress and they can easily enough let it out. Turns out she has a large rib cage.

She also bought her wedding day shoes on super duper sale so I took a picture of her in them and her dress.

I find it quite entertaining that while all of my friends are shorter than me in real life for the wedding they're all gonna be taller than me. It's gonna look like I'm melting! Melting!

Another thing we've been piecing together are all the guys costumes. If you haven't heard they're gonna be the Marx Brothers. My guy is gonna be Groucho, his best man Chico and the groomsman Harpo.

My guys was the easiest by far. We realized that he'd have to get a fake mustache instead of using Groucho's grease paint as I was gonna be kissing him all night and I didn't want to wind up with my own mustache.

The cigar was a nice find at a halloween shop. It has the little orange bit hidden at the end so it looks like it's lit in the right light.

The other two have been a bit of a challenge. We've generally left the costumes up to the other guys and gals. Though if we do find something that looks good we'll get it for them.

Harpo has been generally easy, bike horn, curly wig, and we found a top hat for him.

Chico is proving to be an interesting problem. He really doesn't have as signature a look so we've been looking for a hat that would work and so far the best we've come up with is getting an alpine hat and spray painting it black.

If anyone else has ever dressed up like Chico or knows someone that has if you ahve any tips to make a costume please do share.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

For any dog lovers out there

Okay if you haven't figured it out by now my screen name means black lab lover (and then there's a 5 on it for various different reasons. I make up a new one every time someone asks) so that means I love black labs.

So does my Dad (he runs our two spoiled brats in hunt tests and field trials, these are the things you see on ESPN 9 at 4 in the morning where the dog is sitting and then has to run off and follow hand signals to pick up a bird).

In looking for a possible parent gift I found these gorgeous water color pictures by DJ Rogers. Labs seem to be hard to do, people almost never get the head right much less the eyes but these are just perfect.

This is my Dad's that we got framed, but I fell in love so much I just had to get one for myself as well.I'm even looking at a few more for my new office. He does a whole host of dog breed pictures so if you are looking for a wedding present (or even an early Christmas gift) for a dog lover give this site a look.

It's Alive! ALIVE!

I'm still not in a wedding mood so instead I thought I'd talk about something more fun, namely Halloween!
If you have never been to Michaels the craft store (I know we've all been to Michaels the tire store) every year around halloween they get in some really cool little towns from Lemax. I've always liked to look at the little village set ups in stores to try and find any hidden jokes but never really cared about buying any.

They were a bit too cutesy for me. But oh man last year me and my fiance discovered Spooky-Town and some of their twisted houses and figurines.

Both of us being lab rats we fell for the Frankenstein Laboratory but alas we waited too long to try and get one so by the time we got to Michaels again they were all sold out.

This year while they had some interesting buildings none jumped out at us, but I thought maybe I should search the web and see if anyone was selling any.
In comes the House of Tam, not only do they have the frankie lab but they have pieces all the way back from 2000. So for the fun of it I thought I'd create my ultimate spooky town village here (we are gonna go get some other pieces maybe this weekend, right now we just have Death on his horse and an undead camel. Don't ask).
Well the first thought is that since we have Frankies lab why not make a graveyard for him. So first off we need some really cool tombstones.
Every graveyard needs a super spooky gate.
And Death to be sitting on a tombstone just waiting.
Okay this one doesn't really fit in the cemetery I just thought they were cute in a spooky way.
But our cemetery needs lots of creepy trees, and none are creepier than dead willows.
And finally just because it's the most disturbing thing I've seen so far this butcher shop will make you lose your lunch.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Anti-wedding mood

For the past week or so (probably right around this time) I've really been hard pressed to get excited for the wedding. At this point I am looking forward to the honeymoon much more than the wedding as well as when the futurama movie comes out and Rock Band 2 and when we can pay the gas bill.

So rather than looking at various centerpieces and figuring out how we're gonna set up our reception site I've just been messing around at various places and I thought I'd share my random day fun.

First off, every day requires a stop off at Cake Wrecks. If you haven't heard of this place, they're famous for hosting the picture of that wedding cake. You know the one. Where the bride had her likeness made in cake to be eaten by everyone. Really, you got to see it.

Well they also have a wreck a day, of just disturbing and hilarious cakes made by professional bakers that are rather missing their mark. (I don't know why but I just loved the babies on the carrots).

Okay now that you've gotten a whole bunch of giggles out of your system time for a fun simple game. Just go to this color personality site and instead of choosing your favorite color do your wedding colors (or as close as you can get) and then change you to "Your wedding." Here are mine:

Your wedding enjoys a peaceful environment
in which to relax and appreciate life.
(My wedding is a hippie)

Your wedding has a refined sense of beauty.
(In other words, tacky)

Your wedding is capable of persisting against
all odds when determined to reach a goal.
(We're getting married, damnit!)

Your wedding is intent on establishing a
personal attitudinal framework within
which to accomplish your goals.
(My wedding owns a thesaurus apparently)

Your wedding is very strong-willed and
determined and can accomplish much
when left alone and undisturbed.
(My wedding is a homicidal maniac waiting to happen)

Easy-going and original, your wedding is capable
of relaxing and enjoying the finer things in life.
(My wedding is a snob)

Your wedding has an eye for art.
(And a jewel thief)

Your wedding works hard to improve your life
and to surmount the tensions involved in the struggle.
(By making your life filled with stress and struggle,

For those Freakazoid fans, I know there's at least one out there, I give you this little clip on marriage. I love it. Mmm meat.

If you're tired of having to go dress shopping all the time and look at the same thing over and over again why not make your own bridal gown?
I've decided that rather than my simple one I think I'll go for something a bit more poufy like this:
I just realized it looks like the little mermaid's wedding dress. Ah the early 90s.

If that one seems a bit to limiting, here is another bridal gown maker but I didn't really like the model as much. Mine looks like a sex doll someone pulled out of a dumpster.

Finally if there are any Kingdom of Loathing fans out there, have yourself a three tiered wedding cake.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Kleenex packs for all!

I am one of those people.

The type that always hassome kleenex stashed in her pockets or purse (or sometimes even just glued to my hand).

We probably have 10 boxes scattered across our apartment (not including the extra in the closet just in case). Running out of kleenex is much more cause for a store run than running out of milk, bread, or toilet seats.

I am a constant snot machine.

I know I know, I'm sorry you all have to hear that. You'd rather hear about shiny happy wedding plans and other ripped off REM songs.

Well this is a bit of an issue on my wedding day as I won't have any pockets anywhere near me (I'm starting to think I should get myself one of those little bags guys get on their kilts). But I know that I can't just tell my nose to stop running, its very stubborn. My allergies always have seasons they act up but even then my nose will run if it's slightly windy, if I eat anything spicier than a piece of bread, or if it's just in the mood.

I'm starting to wish that I'd made some tissue flowers (like She Weds) for the bouquets, I could quite easily dismantle one and use that while walking down the aisle right? (I can't help but upon seeing a Tears of Joy pack think ours should say "For your tears of joy or any extra snot you have")

Or the other option is to sneak a small travel pack somewhere on my person (the garter has to be good for something other than just designated toss material right?) and try my best to find chances to sneak in and use it.

Is anyone else out there like me or am I a lone freak (that's rhetorical I already am aware of my levels of freakiness)? And if you do have just as bad of a running nose how are you circumventing it?

Monday, September 8, 2008

Interesting Dilemma

This weekend I got a call from my tall flower girl. Right out of the gate she asked me if she could get the deposit back on her dress.

I'm sure I turned all kinds of white and red colors as I tried to figure out why she wanted to know that (it didn't help that I was sick and really tired).

I squeaked out a "Why?" while trying to hold back images of everyone abanding this wedding like rats from a sinking ship.

Turns out she's found a blue dress that she absolutely loves and is on clearance and she'd rather wear that than the one sitting at the bridal shop.

I paused for a minute as I erased all the images of her not being able to make the wedding for a myriad of reasons, took a calming breath, then attempted to tackle this issue.

I will admit I did for a minute think, crap she can't change dresses. Her dress is green so it'll match with the other ring bearer and she has a blue basket to contrast her dress. Blah blah blah. Luckily none of that came out of my mouth and I realized that it doesn't really matter.

She still owes around $100 on her dress and she's been having second thoughts on it for a while now. Thanks to the bridal shoppe not knowing how to use size charts she got a dress that is just a bit too small. I think it's still within alterations range but this Thursday she scheduled a visit with their alterations lady to get an idea of what it would cost and if they could do anything.

My suggestion was that if she could if she had to return the blue dress go ahead and buy it, then bring it with her on Thursday. She could try on the old dress as well as the new one and see which she likes better.

I've seen so many brides that in waiting for their dress to come in suddenly decide they don't want it anymore and get something new, only to want to go back to the old idea. So at least trying on the old one once before abandoning all that money for the deposit was my thought.

I guess we'll see on Thursday. I already said that I'd go with her if I wasn't doing anything too important at work. Man I thought I was done with this whole dress thing.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Blog Love

As lots of brides get engaged and start this whole planning process and being their own blogs I was thinking this was a good time to go looking for links.

So if you know a good site or have a blog all of your own that you'd like me to link to just leave a little comment and I'll add ya in.

For those I already have added here are adorable pictures of lab puppies

Get yer programs!

I'm a bit surprised at all of you who claim you want to see our programs. I'll level with you, they're quite boring and cheap.

I don't have the best sense for stationary so I didn't go out of my way to make a really fancy booklet or even those little rectangular pieces of cardstock.

We have a whole bunch of people coming who are Catholic and they really need a program as the ceremony is gonna be generally Methodist (but we do have some holy water for them in the back).

To me that was always the point of programs to tell everyone what is coming up next and when to expect the thing to be done. Of course the other half of the program is to announce who helped with this whole shindig and to thank them. I was always used to the simple paper programs that you get at church, at other weddings I attended when I was little and well really anything that happens at the church.

So I went old school (kinda like the cake topper). We picked out some not gag me sappy or ugly paper and then came the hard part, getting it all to print. Since making these things were so easy I was thinking I'd share something you don't usually see at most blogs, the order of the ceremony and any other stuff that fills it out. It seems like a lot of people really want a good general idea but it's about impossible to find.

This is of course our Methodist version, but if you're looking for a pretty simple common Christian flow this is about how it goes (Though I did change 'sermon' to 'homily' for the Catholics in the room). There is also some extra stuff at top including a fun border but I cut it off for the sake of um it wouldn't fit in my screen grab.

The other side of the programs have a nice long listing of all the people who helped and anyone we're related to as well as a few simple statments like "If you for some reason forgot the reception starts here at this time" and "Thanks for being here with us, in fact you can take a few extra programs with you if you want. We have a ton left over thanks to all those who ditched."

The back is where it gets a bit interesting. Most people will put a quote or two that is inspiring and all about how great love is. Well we aren't sappy so it's been a difficult challenge trying to find love quotes that don't give me a sugar rush.If you can't read them here's what they say:

“The way to find out if you love someone or not, is by talking to them. The more you talk to them the more you either hate them or love them.”
Brad Breitenstein

We're also both crazy Terry Pratchett fans so I did some digging through some quote databases to find a good one about weddings.

“A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.”
Terry Pratchett
The Fifth Elephant

If you're wondering what that tiny spec of almost invisible text is, it's sort of a hidden Easter Egg for our programs. No it isn't us railing against all those problems and road blocks wedding planning has thrown us. It's another quote, a quote a lot of people at weddings wouldn't want to think about but one that I think holds quite true especially held up to the light of the idea of the wedding being the best day of your life.

"Listen, happy endings is fine if they turn out happy. But you can't make 'em for other people. Like the only way you could make a happy marriage is by cuttin' their heads off as soon as they say 'I do,' yes?"
Granny Weatherwax
Witches Abroad

Sorry to dissapoint if these weren't what you were expecting, but I can only be creative 10 hours out of the week. Court Order.